Edit: After some consideration, I decided to take down the Kismet sections until I can sort out the mess it is into decent fiction. I'm also in a story bog, as I've got Kismet, Geezer's, Bubble Picture and yet ANOTHER long story idea waiting to be scribbled down. Out of the three I had writing, I decided that Kismet could wait. I really need a lot more experience to make this baby work. :]
Thanks for your interest!
Sumi
(Mods, you have permission to delete this. Thanks, I 'preciate it.)
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Again, I LOVE this. There were a lot of flash-backs, which gave us much needed info, but I'd suggest adding more stuff about what was happening in the present.
Other than that, I can't find anything. Keep it up!
Um, what? Lacey-san, this is the fourth part. Not the first.
You jump into the beggining. You have to work on it.
This is a well written piece of work you have here. The flashbacks are really interesting, it`s like the character is going down memory lane barefoot but memory lane is covered in broken glass and jagged rusty metal. It`s really something.
I also had to think for a second on the word "cruller" then I remembered that my dad makes Apple crullers in his bakery. I like that you used a wider variety of vocabualry like cruller instead of dounut.
Hi again! I'm here to review yay!
-Realllllllly don't mean to sound dumb here but what is a cruller?
-This here confused me a little, was it the garbage that was rising and falling? Or something else? :S
-Yeah it was the garbage (We aware I am criting this as I read it, so thing's I say may sound silly because I',m not reading ahead, also I'm very tires so this crit might be useless all together hehe)
I must say this part I liked the most out of the four, it gave a much needed insight to the group and the characters which I liked, keep this up, its superbbbbbb!
All the best,
Meevs
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